Everyone on the invitation list is requested to write a description of themselves. A few days before each large and smaller cocktail party, descriptions of everyone who said they will be attending are circulated. If you have the time and interest, you can read these descriptions beforehand and then decide if there is someone you want to meet, whether as a potential friend, a potential activity partner, a potential date, or a potential business relationship.

These descriptions range from a minimum of 1000 characters to essentially no limit. Once we have setup this Web site so that people can write their own descriptions on-line, we'll program the database to not accept any description less than 1000 characters.

Descriptions are different than descriptive tags. Descriptive tags are worn on your chest at the party, and thus are limited to 150 characters. A description is much longer (minimum is 1000 characters) and is distributed by e-mail before the party. In addition, at each large cocktail party, at the front there is a white notebook containing a list of all of the descriptions of everyone who said they were attending.

If you're on the invitation list and you haven't yet written a description, my database will remind you on a regular basis to do so. (My database is remarkably relentless.) Those who refuse to write a description are charged an admission fee of $20. If you're bringing a guest to one of my parties, please do not ask them to write a description. Rather, wait until they are put on the invitation list and then we'll ask them.

You can write anything you want, although I discourage descriptions that say "James is such an idiot for making me write this description." It's totally up to you, but you might consider including some or all of this information:

Your profession ("Litigator specializing in toxic tort cases," "Software engineer who designs financial applications," "Writer specializing in short stories"

The name of your employer, and what your employer does if it is not obvious ("I work at Fidelity, "Environmental lawyer at Smith & Jones, a boutique law firm in Wellesley."

Significant other if you have one ("Husband is Ralph Walcott," "Girlfriend is Samantha Jones")

How many children you have

How fond you are of animals and whether you have pets

Your religion, particularly if it is important to you

Where you live and work ("Live in Back Bay")

Where you went to school and your concentration ("Undergrad: Economics at Williams College, M.B.A. Stanford Business School"

Interests ("Interests include classical music, running, and sailing")

Sports you play

Favorite magazines

If you're single and looking, you might want to say this ("Single and looking").

You are only limited by your imagination. Some possibilities are:

Favorite place for a vacation

Most unusual experience in your life

Whether or not you are you a member of LA Sports Club

If you're on Match or a similar service, you could say something like "Match.com screen name is Surfer Girl"

Your Myers-Briggs score ("Myers-Briggs: INTJ")

Favorite writer, musician, artist, or philosopher

Alternatively, you could write something more offbeat (these are courtesy of Patricia Moran):

Dream profession

Favorite way to blow $100

Disaster vacation

Guilty TV pleasure (non porn)

First concert you ever attended

What you would cook to impress a new flame

Your worst encounter with the authorities

Things you've ordered off a TV ad (civil war chess set, Freedom Rock cassettes, Ronco slicer/dicer)

Your favorite place within 15 miles of here

Favorite board game

Off celebrity sightings

Your worst sport (but you do it anyway)

You may want to read James' description as well as examples of descriptions.

Until we give you the ability to edit your descriptions online, I ask that you not include information that will change quickly, since my secretary doesn't have the time to change your information several times a year. If, before the November 2004 election, you stated, "I'm voting for George Bush," that would be interesting at that time (and would make you among several hundred people in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts who did so), but this would be less interesting after the election. I make an exception for "Single and looking" because many want others to know that, so even if it changes back and forth a few times a year, I don't mind my secretary spending time on those changes.

Here's some examples of what not to include:

1. "I came to the U.S. 3 years ago." Instead, say "I came to the U.S. in 2002."
2. "I am a first year medical student." Instead, say "I am a medical student."
3. "I have two children, ages 12 and 15." Instead, say "I have two children."

We used to offer guests the option of not having their descriptive tags and descriptions sent beforehand to those attending a cocktail party. Only 1.5 percent of those on the invitation list choose this option, and the code became increasingly complex as we added features to the database which had subtle interactions with this feature. So when I rewrote the database in Winter 2005, I did not include this feature in the rewrite, nor will I do so in the future. (It was dumb of me to offer this option in the first place.)

You should obviously use your discretion about what you reveal in your description. These descriptions are not the place to reveal your inner-most thoughts, feelings, and fears.

For further information about descriptions, please read the section on them in our "Frequently Asked Questions."