You seem like quite a catch. Why aren't taken?

I've had three relationships since 2002 (one very serious, one serious, and one not so serious) and I guess I've had a significant number of women interested in me. In most cases, I just did not feel a strong connection — I had the sense that we would run out of things to talk about. In some cases, I wanted someone with higher energy. (I DO like high energy.)

And there have been several women I've been interested in, girls with whom it appeared (albeit based on limited information) there might be long-term potential. One was not over her ex. One lived in Seattle and was supposedly moving to Boston in a few weeks, but never did. (Two years later, she is still in Seattle.) One moved from Boston two months after I met her, and neglected to tell me on our first date of her imminent departure. One was not attracted to me. (That's the last time I ever date someone with bad eyesight.) One was up for partner at a major law firm and felt she had to work 80 hours a week for the next year. One had three kids and could not date more than once a week. One lived 150 miles from Boston. So I've learned to ask some questions up front.

I don't think I'm too picky, but I do want a strong connection as a basis for a relationship.

Have you noticed any differences between the women in Boston and New York?

Obviously there are many. Here's one interesting difference. In Boston, unless a girl has an M.B.A. or is otherwise sophisticated about business, the odds that she knows what a leveraged buyout is is quite small. When women in Boston ask me what I do, I say, "I own a leveraged buyout firm" and then I usually get a blank stare. In New York, not only does it seem as if every female over 21 knows what an LBO firm, but they understand subtle difference between being a principal and an agent (i.e., being an LBO professional as opposed to an investment banker) and between the two forms of private equity (LBOs and venture capital). Rather than a blank stare, their response more likely to be, "Which firm?"

Why do you use "girl" rather than "woman"?

Oh pleeeeeeeeease. In Boston, in social situations, adult females are usually referred to as "girls" rather than "women." You would never say "I know a great woman you should meet," you would say "I know a great girl you should meet." If I look at Internet dating sites, I see women with screen names of "Nice Girl," "Music Girl," "Film Girl" and "Horse Girl" — I see no screen names of "Nice Woman," "Music Woman," "Film Woman" or "Horse Woman." In a social setting, "woman" often sounds too old — someone your mother's age, no doubt a great person, but I don't want to date my mother's friends. In a professional setting, one would never use "girl" — you'd never say, "There's going to be a conference of girl attorneys," but rather "There's going to be a conference of women attorneys."

There are lots of complex reasons for the different use of words depending on whether the setting is social or professional. I suspect it is part of the post-feminist era we live in — a recognition that feminism was very helpful in reducing barriers to professional success for women, but that when it comes to social and romantic relationships, most women (and men) feel more comfortable with many of the traditional roles. Most women seek chivalry and want the guy to take the lead in romantic relationships. Most guys want a girl who is very feminine and girly girl.

Using "girl" does not in any way diminish or denigrate the professional accomplishments of even extraordinary women. It's simply a recognition that social settings are very different than professional settings, that what works well in one setting does not carry forward to the other setting. I have many male friends who mouth politically correct/feminist concepts. But then you look at the women they date, who are not nearly as intelligent as they are, who have accomplished little, but happen to be very attractive. If you look at what they do rather than what they say, it's obvious what is most important to them. You would have to look long and hard to find a guy who is more interested than me in how smart a girl is and what she has accomplished, as opposed to how attractive she is. So who is more of the feminist — them or me?

If a girl is going to be upset being called a girl, then realistically she is the wrong girl for me. She's better off (or at least thinks she is better off) with one of my politically correct male friends. I am looking for someone who is my match, who challenges me and makes me think, who keeps me on my toes.

(As you may have guessed, I pride myself in being un-PC.)

I don't think I'm the girl for you, but I have a friend that would be perfect for you? Can I send her this profile?

Absolutely. Please do.

Aren't you worried that this profile is way, way, way too long?

Hey, I'm a complex, fascinating, interesting guy. Wouldn't everyone want to read what I have to say? Besides, it's only way, way too long, not way, way, way too long.

A more serious answer is: Anyone who is intelligent will read the sections they are interested in and skip the ones they are not interested in. (That's why the headings are useful.) If you're only interested in 20 percent of the sections, then only read 20 percent. I'm looking for someone with high bandwidth, who can absorb a lot of material. If this profile is more than she can handle, I might be the wrong guy for her. Most likely Miss Right will find this interesting and say to herself after reading this, "I want to meet this guy NOW."

In addition, I am looking for a woman with intellectual depth. I know this sounds arrogant, but it's hard to imagine such a woman who after reading this profile would not want to at least meet me.

What kind of reaction have you received concerning this profile?

Very favorable overall. About 40 percent say they love it ("Most interesting profile I have read," "brilliant," that kind of thing. I welcome such comments, by the way. ;-)) Another 25 percent say they like it and bring up an issue or two they want to discuss, but none of them are deal breakers. Twenty percent say nothing about my profile but want to talk on the phone. And 15 percent bow out after reading it. Even the ones that bow out almost always like it; it's just that they conclude that she and I are not a good fit.

Have you found any correlation between a woman's reaction to your profile and whether things work out?

Absolutely.

First, a few women I've met haven't read it at all. "I want to get to know someone by meeting them, not by reading a long memo." In those cases, it has never gone to a second date, not because I particularly cared whether they read my profile, but rather that I've never clicked with women who do that.

Second, I've noticed that the smarter the girl, the more likely she is to like this profile. I've corresponded with about two dozen women that most would agree at the top of the intellectual and/or professional food chain — e.g., women who teach at Harvard or MIT, judges, former Rhodes Scholars, those who've won either the Nobel or Pulitzer prize, managing partners of major professional service firms, CEOs of fairly substantial companies, partners of private equity firms. All but one of these loved my profile and wanted to meet.

Third, I have found that the women I click with always have a strong reaction to this profile. In almost all cases, they find parts of it humorous and there are some parts they particularly relate to, and maybe some parts are even informative. In some cases, some women have vehemently disagreed with a few sections and want to discuss their thoughts on that. A few have changed my mind on some issues, and you're reading the revised version. But in all cases, the women I've clicked with have not been neutral on it. If her reaction is bland, then it's unlikely she is Miss Right.

Anything else?

You should be smart enough to know whether I am serious and when I am kidding. If you really think I have a 647-page "Girlfriend Manual," that I have assigned you code AF-413, or that I receive hundreds of e-mails a week from women, then I'm probably the wrong guy for you. Hint: If you see the word "seriously," I was kidding in the comment before that.

I hope you don't take my answers too seriously. What really matters is whether we click.

One last thing before you go. I've heard about your "Girlfriend Job Description." What is it?

Here is the unedited version:

Girlfriend Job Description

Successful and Talented Guys, Inc. ("STG") has an immediate need for a Girlfriend for its President/CEO. The CEO works for a leveraged buyout ("LBO") company that acquires companies with purchase prices of $10 million to $100 million. Before becoming interested in mergers and acquisitions, he studied international relations (specifically, defense policy and arms control) at Harvard University and had a research fellowship at Harvard Business School. He has a background in computer science and information systems. The CEO's business interests include corporate strategy, competitive analysis, business process reengineering, project and team management, knowledge management, and commercial applications of the Internet. His other interests include classical music, the performing arts, microeconomics, political economy and law. Previous Girlfriends describe the CEO as brilliant.

Duties — The Girlfriend's duties include attending dinners, movies, cultural events and parties with the CEO. Regular cuddling with and kissing the CEO are essential parts of the job.

Type of Position — This is a romantic position, not a Platonic position.

Status of Position — Ordinarily employees hired by STG report to the CEO; he is their boss. For this position we are making an exception. The CEO is looking for an equal partner, someone he completely respects and who is not subordinate in any way. At the same time, the CEO does not expect to have the Girlfriend as his boss. The CEO is not looking for a "trophy" Girlfriend.

Characteristics — Applicants should be outgoing, positive, optimistic (sees the glass as half full, not half empty), not moody, and energetic. A sense of humor and feminine mannerisms are essential for this position. The CEO prefers Girlfriends who laugh and smile a lot and who do not take themselves too seriously.

Education — A minimum of some college is required. Most of the women who have previously held this position have held graduate degrees, but this is not a requirement. Preference will be given to applicants with exceptional intelligence and who have a wide range of intellectual interests.

Gender — Applicants must be female; no males will be considered for this position. Please note that STG does not abide by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Transgendered Individuals — Not only must applicants be female, but they must have been born female. STG will not consider individuals who used to be male and have had a sex change.

Health — Applicants should be in good health. Candidates should be free of any physical, mental and emotional handicaps. Emotional stability is essential. If you're nuts, this is the wrong position for you, irrespective of whatever medications you are taking. STG regularly flouts the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990.

Physical Attributes — The CEO prefers women whose weight is proportional to their height and who are reasonably physically fit. Height and hair and eye color do not matter.

Children — STG prefers applicants who either do not have children or do not have children living at home, but will consider applicants with children if they can demonstrate that such kids will not seriously impact the applicant's performance as a Girlfriend. STG regularly violates the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993.

Dress Code — STG does not have a formal dress code. The CEO prefers girlfriends who dress well.

Commuting Required — The CEO resides and works in Waltham. In order to minimize commuting time, STG prefers applicants who reside in Eastern Massachusetts. Applicants who live more than 30 miles from Waltham cannot be considered, as the CEO is not looking for long distance relationships.

Personal Organization — We prefer applicants who have basic organizational skills. If you're unable to show up on time, or to return telephone calls promptly, that would be a problem.

Follow Through — If the CEO is interested in you, he will pursue you — dates, phone calls, e-mails and flowers. STG requires that prospective Girlfriends be able to "step up to the plate" — i.e., if you're interested in the CEO, invest time and energy into the relationship, return telephone quickly and respond to e-mails.

Professional Experience — Previous track record as a successful Girlfriend is preferred but not required. STG provides on-the-job training.

Computer Skills — The CEO is a "guru" in computers. Outstanding computer skills are not required of applicants, but total ineptitude in using computers would be a drawback.

Animals — The CEO has a dog, Cassie. Part of the Girlfriend's job is to pet her when she requests. Accordingly, it's essential that prospective Girlfriends love dogs and not be allergic to them.

Smoking — STG has a strict non-smoking policy. Applicants who smoke (even just occasionally) will not be considered.

Sexual Preference — STG does discriminate based on an applicant's sexual preference. If a woman is not attracted to men, she will not be considered for this position. We do not have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Romantic — The CEO is highly romantic and affectionate and it's essential that applicants are the same. You should be comfortable with tasteful public displays of affection.

Sexual Harassment Policy — STG does not have an anti-sexual harassment policy. If the CEO is attracted to an applicant, he will try to kiss her.

Salary — There is no salary for this position but there is an excellent benefits package.

Hours — This is a part-time position. At the beginning, a minimum of one date per week will probably be expected. Once the initial probationary period has ended (after a reasonable number of dates), the work hours will be increased to 2 or 3 dates, plus sleepovers, each week. Occasional weekend trips will also be necessary.

Career Ladder — STG offers an excellent career path for the appropriate candidate, as a Girlfriend who successfully demonstrates she is the CEO's soul mate will be promoted to fiancée and then to Wife. Please note that the fiancée position is expected in all cases to be temporary and to lead to promotion to Wife within a reasonable time frame. STG has a "promote from within" policy and therefore STG is unable to consider applicants who want to become the CEO's Wife immediately.

Unemployed Applicants — STG prefers applicants who currently have no Boyfriends.

Application Deadline — Since the Girlfriend position is not currently filled, our need is immediate. Early applications are encouraged.

Application Process — Ordinarily STG's Human Resources department screens all resumes. Due to the desire of filling this position quickly, applicants should bypass the Human Resources department and send an e-mail directly to the CEO. If you don't have a photo online, please e-mail it to JMitchell@KensingtonLLC.Com.

Resumes — Resumes are not required as part of the application process.

References — References from previous Boyfriends are not required. References from the CEO's previous Girlfriends will not be provided.

Writing Samples — Writing samples are not required. Literacy is a requirement, however.

Interview Process — The CEO will conduct a telephone interview after receiving your e-mail. In-person interviews will be conducted at a restaurant of the applicant's choosing. Successful applicants will be invited to a second interview, perhaps consisting of a day trip.

I've got to ask. How long did it take to write the "Girlfriend Job Description"?

Sometimes I go into a flow state and it just flows. Writing the text took about two hours. I then wanted to get the correct names of the statutes, so I thought, "I'll just go to the Internet and look them up." Three hours and dozens of Web sites later, I hadn't found the correct name of one lousy statute. So I called a labor lawyer I use, and asked him for the exact names. He kept asking me why I wanted to know this, and I kept ducking the question. Finally I told him and he burst out laughing. He thought it was so funny that he didn't even bill me for his time. It just goes to show, sometimes the traditional approach is better than the Internet.