We have a well thought out and clear RSVP policy. For certain invitations we send out, we ask that people RSVP even if they are not attending. If they do not respond, for such invitations we send reminders until they do respond. You can tell if an RSVP is expected because the invitation begins with "RSVP --". If it does, then an response is expected even if you're not attending. If it does not, then we don't expect a response if you're not attending. We're strictest about our RSVP policy for the large coctkail parties, where through an invitation cycle, you could receive as many as a dozen reminders if you do not respond.

We use the large cocktail parties as our screening and weeding device — if people do not respond through two invitation cycles in a row (meaning they have ignored more than 20 e-mails in a row), then our database is programmed to drop them from the invitation list. Sometimes I override this automatic dropping, depending on how well I know the invittee, and I give them another chance. If they are dropped, sometimes they will receive a "post mortem" telling them how each party went, while others who have been dropped do not receive post mortems.

There are many reasons why these parties have been so successful — we're perhaps the most successful social group in the history of Boston — but our RSVP policy is by far the most important reason for our success. By enforcing this policy, we keep the quality of the list very high, and over time we weed out those who can't be bothered to respond to an invitation.

These pages provide additional insight into why we have this RSVP policy:

• A history of these parties
• Our RSVP Policy
• Why have these parties have been so successful
• Our expectations of our guests

If you have time, I would also recommend that you read our Frequently Asked Questions.

If I e-mailed you this link, I did so because you inquired about our RSVP policy or because we haven't heard from you even though we sent you numerous invitations. After you read these pages, please send me an e-mail indicating that you have read them. My goal is to have transparency of our policies for everyone who is on the invitation list. If someone does not understand our policies, I want them to. If they disagree with them, then it probably makes sense for them not to be on the invitatation list, as the fit would not be good, since they will be unhappy with our policies (and frankly we would be unhappy with them).

If you have any questions, please give me a call at (781) 647-0136, which is good day and night.

— James Mitchell