Conflicts Between the Evite Invitation and This Page
A Cross Between a Cocktail Party and a Dinner Party
Our RSVP Policy for These Parties
I started hosting the smaller cocktail parties because the large cocktail parties have become so large, with over 500 people attending the Ritz parties. Even the smaller cocktail parties are not really small, with an average of 100 people attending. The parties at the Aujord'hui bar at the Four Seasons will be a combination of a cocktail party and a dinner party.
The "ground rules" for my Aujord'hui parties are very different than my other parties. When you RSVP "Yes," please indicate you have read this page. If you RSVP "Yes," you are expected to attend. We are looking for people who will spend the entire evening at the party. We ask that arrive at 6:30 prompt and in all cases no later than 7 p.m. The party will end around 11 p.m. and guests are expected to leave no earlier than 10:30. Most of the people attending will have dinner at the party. We ask that you not invite or bring guests — if there is someone you want to attend the party, send me their name and e-mail address and I will add them to the general invitation list and then send them an Evite for this party.
After you're read this page, if you are RSVPing "Yes," when you do so, there is an option for "Add a Comment (optional)." In this box, please enter "I have read your Web page for the Aujord'hui bar." That way, we know that you understand that the procedures for these parties are different than our normal cocktail parties." If you RSVP "Yes" and do not indicate that you are read this Web page, our database will automatically send you follow-up e-mails asking you to do so. It's much simpler for both of us if you indicated this when you first RSVP, rather than my having to send follow-ups.
Read James' essays.
We now have sections for Business, Computers, and Dating & Romance.
See photos from previous parties.
This page is written generically for all of my parties given at Aujord'hui. If there are any conflicts between the information contained in the Evite invitation I sent to you and this page, the information in the Evite invitation supercedes the information contained in this page.
Lobby
I started the smaller cocktail parties because the large cocktail parties have become so large (over 500 people for the parties at the Ritz) and many members wanted a more intimate social experience. Because the invitation list is so large and because the parties have become so popular, even the smaller cocktail parties are not very small — typical attendance is 100 people. The Aujord'hui bar is much smaller than our normal venues and can comfortably hold no more than 50 people. Since I want to give parties there, I've decided to make the parties at Aujord'hui something between a cocktail party and dinner party. As a result, the procedures for these parties is much different than for my other parties — fewer people will attend, we ask that you show up on time (at 6:30) and stay for the entire evening (leave no earlier than 10:30), most people will eat dinner, and only those who are on the invitation list are permitted to attend.
For both the large and smaller cocktail parties, we ask that people RSVP, even if they are not attending. You can tell that a response is expected because the invitation begins with "RSVP --". If you don't know whether you can attend, please RSVP "Maybe." If you don't respond, you will continue to receive reminders until you do. See our RSVP policy.
For both the smaller and large cocktail parties, we have a significant number of no-shows among those who RSVP ed "Yes". This does not bother me because with the law of large numbers, I can reasonably predict how many people will be attending. With the parties at the Aujord'hui bar, our policy is different — if you RSVP "Yes," we expect you to attend. When you RSVP, if you're not certain you can attend, you should RSVP "Maybe," not "Yes." If there really is a last minute emergency, you should log into your Evite account and change your response to "No" or "Maybe."
Unlike the other parties, we will track who RSVPs "Yes" and does not show, and the day after the party, we will ask them why. If the reason is really compelling, we'll invite those guests to future Aujord'hui parties. If not, they will not be invited to the smaller parties such as these where we need an accurate count of who is attending. Those who are particularly flagrant will be prime candidates for removal from the entire invitation list (we call this "Project Refresh").
Please do not game the system by RSVPing "Yes" initially, deciding shortly before the party whether you can attend, and then changing your response to "Maybe" or "No" if you cannot. You should only RSVP "Yes" if you're certain when you do so that you will be able to attend. You should be changing your response to "Maybe" or "No" only if there really is a last-minute emergency.
To summarize — Aujord'hui can accommodate only 50 people. If you RSVP "Yes" and do not attend, you are taking the place of someone who would want to attend. That is unfair to them. Please only RSVP "Yes" if you are certain you will be attending.
These strict — some would say draconian — policies benefit those who attend these parties. From the beginning, I've tried to limit membership to those who are polite, who are not rude, flaky, or space cadets. Most people would agree that on the whole, we've done a pretty good job. People are people, however, and if I was as strict as I would like, the invitation list would be significantly smaller than it is. (There are approximately six billion people on this planet. One of them is the most intolerant of rude and flaky people, and that person is probably me.) At these parties, you'll be meeting people who are much higher on the non-flakiness, non-space cadet scale than even at my other parties
Once we've reached a certain limit, we will shut off further "Yeses" being recorded through the Evite system. Once that happens, anyone who has not already RSVPed "Yes" will not be able to do so and will not be able to attend this party. If you've RSVPed "Yes" before that cutoff point, you can change your response to "No" or "Maybe" before or after the cutoff date. You can only attend if you've RSVPed "Yes" through the Evite system. Obviously you will have to do so before the cutoff time; otherwise, Evite will not let you RSVP "Yes."
Aujord'hui Bar
Four Seasons Hotel
200 Boylston Street
Boston, MA 02216
(617) 338-4400
www.FourSeasons.com/boston
www.FourSeasons.com/boston/lounge_343.html
Aujord'hui Bar
The Four Seasons Hotel is located in Back Bay on Boylston Street, one block east (i.e., going towards the financial district) of Arlington Street. Take the Green line to the Arlington Street. Once you enter the hotel, turn left and walk towards the Bristol Lounge, which is at the end of the corridor. On the left, immediately before the Bristol Lounge, is a set of stairs. Go up the stairs. Once you exit the stairs, turn left, and you at the Aujord'hui bar. Directions to the Four Seasons Hotel
Valet parking is available at the Four Seasons; it is expensive. You can park in the Charles Street parking lot on Charles Street, between Boylston and Beacon Streets, which is less expensive.
For the smaller cocktail parties, particularly those at the Four Seasons, we ask that people dress up. Cocktail party dress is strongly preferred. Business attire is acceptable if you're coming directly from work. Anything less formal — including business casual — is not acceptable. At a minimum, men should wear jackets and shirts with collars, and we prefer that women wear dresses or skirts. Dress in the Summer is obviously more relaxed. Please see our dress code. If in doubt, err on the side of overdressing slightly. We do drop from the invitation list those who are substantially underdressed. If you have any questions about the dress code, please give me a call at (781) 647-0136, which is good day and night.
For my large and other smaller cocktail parties, people show up when they want and leave when they want. This is not the case for these parties. We're trying to create a more intimate social experience, where — like a dinner party — people will stay the entire evening and get to know other members on a deeper level.
We ask that you show up at 6:30, when the party begins. There is obviously a little bit of leeway but we ask that everyone — including you — arrive no later than 7 p.m. When we say 7 p.m., we mean 7 p.m., not 7:01.
Please budget your time for last-minute stuff at work, going home to change if you are going to do that, traffic delays, trouble finding the Four Seasons, whatever. Please plan on arriving at 6:30 (if you arrive earlier, that is fine, I will be there around 6). This gives you 30 minutes to get lost, lose your keys, find your mobile phone and still meet the 7 p.m. deadline. Please do not plan to arrive at 7, since that will give you no leeway.
These parties are meant to be like dinner parties -- you don't show up 45 minutes late for a dinner party. Please plan to be there at 6:30 and in all events no later than 7.
These parties will most likely go to 11 or even later. We ask that people leave no earlier than 10:30. If you're the kind of person who wakes up at 5 each morning and goes to bed at 10 each evening, these parties are not for you; you're welcome to come to my other parties. If there is a chance that you will have to leave early that evening, please do not sign up for that party — there will be at least a dozen cocktail / dinner parties each year, and you can sign up for the others. Again, we're trying to have something between a dinner party and a cocktail party, and people leaving early does not provide such an experience.
Aujord'hui Restaurant
We print nametags and descriptive tags for those who RSVP "Yes." Please note that wearing a nametag and descriptive tag is not optional. Nametags and descriptive tags should be worn on your chest, rather than your purse, your pants or your shoes.
Immediately before you enter the bar, on your right is the coat check, immediately after the women's restroom.
Restrooms are located immediately before the Aujord'hui bar, on your right. (In other words, if you are leaving the bar, you would turn left.) The women's restroom is first, then the coat check, then the men's restroom.
We expect that most of the people attending will be ordering dinner. There are plenty of tables to sit down and eat on, and around 8 p.m. I will ask people to sit at one of these tables. The food at Aujord'hui is expensive and quite good. (Aujord'hui is the only 5-star restaurant in Boston.) I expect that we will be able to order only from the bar menu, rather than the menu for the restaurant, but I will have further discussions with Aujord'hui concerning this. You are not required to order food, particularly if you are on a limited budget — my parties have never been limited to those who are well off and I want them to be accessible to those with limited incomes.
Cash or credit cards are accepted.
Unlike my other parties, you cannot bring guests to these parties, and we set Evite up this way. Our experience is that those who are not on the invitation list are usually unfamiliar with our policies. Since the Aujord'hui parties are quite different than normal parties, we're not looking for people who are unfamiliar with our procedures.
If there is someone you want to bring, they should be added to my general invitation list, be sent an Evite for this party, and then RSVP "Yes" through the Evite system. Since a large number of people are on my invitation list and we expect these parties to fill up quickly, if you want to bring a certain person to this party, you'll need to begin the process of having me add them to the invitation list quickly. In many cases, it will not be possible for this process to take place in time for this party, so you should provide the information so that they can come to the next Aujord'hui party.
This also applies to spouses and significant others — if you want to bring them, they should be added to the invitation list and they they will be sent an Evite for this party.
Exceptions — If you have a friend visiting from out-of-town, who has no reason to be on the invitation list because they do not live in Boston, and you want to bring them, you may do so. Please let me know if this is the case.
You are welcome to bring guests to my other parties. You are also welcome to send me the names and e-mail addresses of friends to add to the invitation list, in which case they will receive Evites for the Auford'hui parties.
After you're read this page, if you are RSVPing "Yes," when you do so, there is an option for "Add a Comment (optional)." In this box, please enter "I have read your Web page for the Aujord'hui bar." That way, we know that you understand that the procedures for these parties are different than our normal cocktail parties." If you RSVP "Yes" and do not indicate that you are read this Web page, our database will automatically send you follow-up e-mails asking you to do so. It's much simpler for both of us if you indicated this when you first RSVP, rather than my having to send follow-ups.
Please bring numerous business cards with you in case you meet people you want to follow up with. After every party, I receive several e-mails from people, saying that someone they met at the party wrote down their contact information and they can't read their handwriting. Wouldn't it be easier if the other person just handed them a business card? If you don't have business cards, Professional Taste Printing will print 1000 business cards for as low as $35.
Because these parties are smaller than my other parties, there is less need for facilitators, but we will have them. Facilitators introduce you to other people if you request. You can use them to meet new friends, to find business contacts, or for dating. Facilitators wear nametags and descriptive tags with a red border.
In general, I do not want my parties to be listed in the various calendars of events that are published. I make an exception for those that I think are particularly good, such as HeyLetsGo and RICO Soiree Events. Several other lists do mention my events, often without my knowing about it. If you publish such a list, please do not list any of the parties I give at the Aujord'hui bar on your list. Attendance is limited to those on the invitation list who RSVPed "Yes" before the cutoff time. Anyone else who shows up will not be admitted and this would be embarrassing for them and us (and your newsletter).
During the party, you can reach me on my mobile phone (781 718-1301). Except when you know for certain that I am out (i.e., I'm hosting a party), the best number to reach me is (781) 647-0136, which is good day and night. When I'm out, I transfer the 647-0136 number to my mobile phone.
If you have not already done so, please create an Evite account. This will allow you to view all of your Evite invitations — whether sent by me or someone else — in one place. If you delete an Evite invitation sent to you, you can log into Evite and it will be there. It costs nothing to create an Evite account.
Some anti-spam programs incorrectly identify the invitations I send to them as spam (a false positive). In your e-mail package, please add jmitchell@kensingtonllc.com and info@evite.com to your white or approved list. Your company's technical support department should be able to show you how to do this.
If you're busy and wish to not receive invitations for a certain period of time, you can suspend your membership for X months or X years. Simply write to James and tell him what X is.
If you wish to no longer receive invitations for any parties going forward (as opposed to suspending your membership), simply write to James. Before you do, please read this page and this page.